True Stories from the Land of Prevost

Let me tell a story.

Once upon a time there was a band. This band was one of the most talented bands the world had ever heard. They were the backbone and accompaniment of one of the most talented singer/songwriters the world had ever known. The band and singer/songwriter were supported by a top notch crew, possibly the best in the best in the world.

In those days entertainers and crew traveled by bus acoss the country. These buses weren’t the run of the mill school bus that takes kids to their classes every day. These were luxury motor-coaches with large HDTV screens, restroom facilities, beds, DVD players, wine chillers, a full compliment of booze, beer, soda, water and snacky things, and surround sound.

One fateful day in Northern California, one of the band members wandered onto the crew bus. Noticing the plush accommodations of the crew (who work 18 hours a day) and not happy with his own bus he demanded that the crew and band switch buses. The crew reluctantly agreed, and there was much grumbling.

Little did the crew know, but the Production Manager of the crew had placed an order for an even more lavish bus than the one he had just been so rudely evicted from. Moving day comes when the new bus arrives. The crew, being the smart, resourceful, thrifty and vengeful group that they are, begin the process of stripping the old bus of everything that it didn’t come with to stock the new one. They took every soda, bottle of water, beer, bottle of wine, snack, potato chip, DVD, towel, and ice cube from that bus and transferred it to the newer, better, bigger bus. Yes, even the ice and towels. All that was left was a rotten apple and a bag full of garbage.

That was also the day that the shore power lines failed and the old bus was without electricity in 90 degree heat for an entire day. The interior temperature of the bus was crawling north toward the 100 degree mark. Leaving nothing in the cooler to quench the thirst and leaving garbage to rot in the heat, the crew moved into their new accommodations with a sense of pride and accomplishment.

No words were ever spoken about the switch after that, until E-Rock (the smartest member of the crew) walked onto the bus in Oregon and finds a band member coming out of the bathroom.

E “What are you doing in there?”

Band guy “I wasn’t going to use a porta potty and my bus is way over there so I came up here to pee”

E “Did you flush?”

Band guy “Of course, hey you all have a nicer bus than we do. You have the big living room slide out thing and everything.”

E “You should have thought about that in California.”

Band guy “That’s fucked up.”

E “Not as fucked up as having to move right before a show after working all day to make the show possible.”

Band guy “That’s fucked up.”

E “Tell me about it.”

The need to lock the door was reiterated to the rest of the crew and the conversation covering what the crew wanted in a newer, ever nicer bus was started in the event that another move was necessary, but it wasn’t and won’t be.