"President Hillary Clinton" (she'll drop the Rodham to get elected on Bill's coattails) is, however unfortunate, inevitable. Her socialist rhetoric and Robin Hood economic plans are just what the great-unwashed masses of this nation want to hear. Then "President" will change to "Chairperson" and the constitution on the desk in the oval office will be replaced with the Cliff Notes of Karl Marx.
War. HOAH, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing... say it again...
Except for a booming economy.
Oh wait, that was a tangent... I'll "Stay the Course".
The withdrawal deadline was the stupidest piece of legislation since Prohibition. Basically congress wanted to give our enemies a copy of the playbook. Whatever side of the war your heart belongs to, outlining our plans for withdrawal (which cannot be done without detailing plans of deployment) will only result in more bad things. Death, escalated fighting, rogue terrorist action to speed up the process, etc... etc... etc...
Power hasn't shifted in Washington. The loudmouths are just on the other side of the aisle. There isn't enough of a majority on either side to get anything done. Aside from the withdrawal bill being a bad idea, it was so pork laden with little snippets of legislation like a subsidy for the Save the Spotted Owl Society and tax breaks for parents of retarded transvestite conjoined twins that any president would have vetoed it. Congress can't get anything done because every jackass on the hill is more focused on getting Barack and Hillary into the limelight that whatever legislation NEEDS to get done will be back burnered to get the fireworks flashing for next year's showdown.
On the Republican side there is scrambling and frantic backpedaling to try and stop the tidal wave that is about to hit. The republicans know that their beloved president isn't the smartest peanut in the turd and is extremely unpopular. They want to get as far away from their allegiance with him as possible.
Thus flops the sagging titty of American Politics. Suck on it.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
An Example of E-Rock's Genius
Every once in a while I get a fantastic idea that I must share. Yesterday, as Mrs. E-Rock and I were wandering around Fountain Square in Cincinnati enjoying the yummy deliciousness of the various vendors, I noticed these stickers for the Volunteers of America Team In Training. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, they represent the T.I.T.
So I figured, why stop there. In the United States there plenty of problems that can be solved with a non-profit acronym named organization. Let's investigate the possiblities...
1. People Uplifitig Serving and Saving Youth. The P.U.S.S.Y. will focus on spiritual uplifting of suburban kids. These are the types of kids who lash out when mom and dad won't buy them the Nintendo Wii that the neighbor kid has. The P.U.S.S.Y. also deals with the psychological ramifications of being a wealthy kid who wants for nothing and ends up depressed on prozac because life is too hard. I suspect I could sell t-shirts that say "I'm a P.U.S.S.Y." at Christian bookstores across the country to raise funding for this organization.
2. Dealing with Inner City Kids. D.I.C.K. is a grassroots organization looking to motivate the troubled youth of the "hood". Education is secondary to half assed manual labor. D.I.C.K. will help instill the balance of mental laziness with physical hard labor so that the parents of P.U.S.S.Y. kids can get their grass cut. The "I'm a D.I.C.K." Polo shirt will be sold by inner city kids out of a box at busy intersections to white collar corporate commuters.
3. Forging Alliances with Girls. F.A.G. is a revolutionary group that teaches men how to recognize shoes based on designer and distinguish between current and past season models. The "I'm a F.A.G." t-shirt runs two sizes small and comes in many color combinations to compliment any outfit. (E-Rock is a charter member of this fine group and Mrs. E-Rock couldn't be happier, although he is considerate of others and won't wear the shirt.)
4. Coming Out Using New Technology. C.U.N.T. is an enabling support group for deviants that stalk their prey (i.e. pedophiles, fetish folks, whatever...) on the Internet. The C.U.N.T.s will learn how to use the Internet for something other than pornography and chatting while learning valuable social skills. There are no current merchandise plans for the C.U.N.T.s since this program is run in prisons.
So I figured, why stop there. In the United States there plenty of problems that can be solved with a non-profit acronym named organization. Let's investigate the possiblities...
1. People Uplifitig Serving and Saving Youth. The P.U.S.S.Y. will focus on spiritual uplifting of suburban kids. These are the types of kids who lash out when mom and dad won't buy them the Nintendo Wii that the neighbor kid has. The P.U.S.S.Y. also deals with the psychological ramifications of being a wealthy kid who wants for nothing and ends up depressed on prozac because life is too hard. I suspect I could sell t-shirts that say "I'm a P.U.S.S.Y." at Christian bookstores across the country to raise funding for this organization.
2. Dealing with Inner City Kids. D.I.C.K. is a grassroots organization looking to motivate the troubled youth of the "hood". Education is secondary to half assed manual labor. D.I.C.K. will help instill the balance of mental laziness with physical hard labor so that the parents of P.U.S.S.Y. kids can get their grass cut. The "I'm a D.I.C.K." Polo shirt will be sold by inner city kids out of a box at busy intersections to white collar corporate commuters.
3. Forging Alliances with Girls. F.A.G. is a revolutionary group that teaches men how to recognize shoes based on designer and distinguish between current and past season models. The "I'm a F.A.G." t-shirt runs two sizes small and comes in many color combinations to compliment any outfit. (E-Rock is a charter member of this fine group and Mrs. E-Rock couldn't be happier, although he is considerate of others and won't wear the shirt.)
4. Coming Out Using New Technology. C.U.N.T. is an enabling support group for deviants that stalk their prey (i.e. pedophiles, fetish folks, whatever...) on the Internet. The C.U.N.T.s will learn how to use the Internet for something other than pornography and chatting while learning valuable social skills. There are no current merchandise plans for the C.U.N.T.s since this program is run in prisons.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Eureka!
Amongst the vast groups and subcultures of people in and amongst the community we call humanity there are only two main categories. These two main categories have all subgroups and cultures from both sides in and amongst themselves. These groups are the IDIOTS and the THINKERS.
The Idiots rule the world. The idiots are the policy makers. The idiots can't function without the thinkers. The thinkers make the world work. The thinkers solve problems the idiots create. The idiots get things done while the idiots try to figure out what's going on. The thinkers would be better off without the idiots.
I'll give a real world example. A dear friend of mine is getting married in an hour. I'm sitting in the reception hall blogging to prevent myself from killing an idiot. The idiot in question is the catering crew et. al. My dear friend asked me to make a DVD slide presentation of baby, childhood, teen, young adult and couple pictures of the bride and groom for the wedding. (I know, it's gay, but it's not my wedding.) Anyway… not being a wedding entertainment provider, I had to bring the concert production stuff I have; a huge 10X12 rear projection video screen. I explained to her the size and footprint of what I was bringing and everything was given thumbs up.
The wedding is circa 3:30. I arrived at 11:30 to put together a screen, focus, test and coordinate with the table monkeys on the catering crew. The catering crew does not show up until 2:00 for a 4:00 reception. Using the standard table diagram for the venue the catering crew proceeds to move the REAR PROJECTION video screen 4" from a wall to put tables in place. When asked why said screen was moved I was handed a floor plan which clearly did not have a screen on it. Since the floor plan did not have a screen they assumed that it was obviously unnecessary and an annoyance. I looked at the floor plan for exactly 3/10 of a second before coming up with an amicable plan to fit everything in the room, make traffic flow easier and provide easy access to the kitchen for the catering douches.
It took a 10 minute meeting of the catering douches to determine the feasibility of my new plan and by the time the meeting was done, I had already moved things to where the needed to be. Now, as I sit and listen to the hustle and bustle of a hurried (due to tardiness) catering crew I am reminded of why I do what I do and why I'm successful at it. I'm a thinker providing solutions for a world of idiots.
The Idiots rule the world. The idiots are the policy makers. The idiots can't function without the thinkers. The thinkers make the world work. The thinkers solve problems the idiots create. The idiots get things done while the idiots try to figure out what's going on. The thinkers would be better off without the idiots.
I'll give a real world example. A dear friend of mine is getting married in an hour. I'm sitting in the reception hall blogging to prevent myself from killing an idiot. The idiot in question is the catering crew et. al. My dear friend asked me to make a DVD slide presentation of baby, childhood, teen, young adult and couple pictures of the bride and groom for the wedding. (I know, it's gay, but it's not my wedding.) Anyway… not being a wedding entertainment provider, I had to bring the concert production stuff I have; a huge 10X12 rear projection video screen. I explained to her the size and footprint of what I was bringing and everything was given thumbs up.
The wedding is circa 3:30. I arrived at 11:30 to put together a screen, focus, test and coordinate with the table monkeys on the catering crew. The catering crew does not show up until 2:00 for a 4:00 reception. Using the standard table diagram for the venue the catering crew proceeds to move the REAR PROJECTION video screen 4" from a wall to put tables in place. When asked why said screen was moved I was handed a floor plan which clearly did not have a screen on it. Since the floor plan did not have a screen they assumed that it was obviously unnecessary and an annoyance. I looked at the floor plan for exactly 3/10 of a second before coming up with an amicable plan to fit everything in the room, make traffic flow easier and provide easy access to the kitchen for the catering douches.
It took a 10 minute meeting of the catering douches to determine the feasibility of my new plan and by the time the meeting was done, I had already moved things to where the needed to be. Now, as I sit and listen to the hustle and bustle of a hurried (due to tardiness) catering crew I am reminded of why I do what I do and why I'm successful at it. I'm a thinker providing solutions for a world of idiots.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Can I get a Number 1 with a Diet?
I went to Panera Bread today. It could have been anywhere, but I chose Panera. Why? Good food, pregnant wife with picky eating habits, friend is the manager, it's close, there are a ton of reasons not germane to the story.
Dining out with my wife is always an experience. She is a perfect example of what happens when humans are offered too much choice. Years ago when there were only 4 items on the McMenu there was no standing in the middle of a lobby talking out loud to a sign trying to decide if the chicken bacon ranch sandwich is yummier than the bacon chicken honey mustard fajita wrap but now there are so many items offered to choose from it's paralyzing to some and annoying to me. I thought my wife was the only one, but today I realized the actual scope of the problem. I walked into Panera, looked at the menu saw something that seemed delicious, made the decision and was prepared to order. Knowing that Mrs. E-Rock cannot make a decision as complicated as what to have for lunch without a committee meeting, I stepped aside to let those behind us order. I looked and the TWO couples behind us (that's 4 more people for the mathematically deficient) had the same problem. The wives were looking at the menu like it was the wiring diagram for the Space Shuttle. How do you not know within seconds what you want at a counter service eatery?
Shoes… I get it. Everything with straps and fur MUST be tried on.
Clothes… same thing, but not with food.
This is just snacking people. Not a life changing decision. Luckily, Mrs. E-Rock found something she liked, ordered it, ate it, retained it, and he had a pleasant dining experience.
Dining out with my wife is always an experience. She is a perfect example of what happens when humans are offered too much choice. Years ago when there were only 4 items on the McMenu there was no standing in the middle of a lobby talking out loud to a sign trying to decide if the chicken bacon ranch sandwich is yummier than the bacon chicken honey mustard fajita wrap but now there are so many items offered to choose from it's paralyzing to some and annoying to me. I thought my wife was the only one, but today I realized the actual scope of the problem. I walked into Panera, looked at the menu saw something that seemed delicious, made the decision and was prepared to order. Knowing that Mrs. E-Rock cannot make a decision as complicated as what to have for lunch without a committee meeting, I stepped aside to let those behind us order. I looked and the TWO couples behind us (that's 4 more people for the mathematically deficient) had the same problem. The wives were looking at the menu like it was the wiring diagram for the Space Shuttle. How do you not know within seconds what you want at a counter service eatery?
Shoes… I get it. Everything with straps and fur MUST be tried on.
Clothes… same thing, but not with food.
This is just snacking people. Not a life changing decision. Luckily, Mrs. E-Rock found something she liked, ordered it, ate it, retained it, and he had a pleasant dining experience.
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