Parenting

Here's what I know so far...

I know that at 6 weeks of age my daughter has no wants, only needs. When she is crying, it's the only method of communication she has to convey that she is tired, hungry, sick, bored, lonely, or uncomfortable. It is incumbent upon me to decipher the cries, ascertain the reason for the cries and provide a resoltuion. That resolution could be a clean diaper, a fresh bottle, a spin in her swing, a bouncy dance around the room, medicine or any of the infinite possibilities and combinations of resolutions.

I know that baby shit is only cute to outsiders.

I know that old people (that aren't family) are creepy to me and they had better keep their bony hands away from my kid unless they want a broken hip.

I know that baby formula smells bad going in and coming out. It has a lot in common with White Castle.

I know that by listening to the unsolicited advice and anecdotes from my parents I have learned more about why I am who I am and how I got here. I then do the opposite to make sure my daughter has a running chance at a normal life.

I have learned that you can keep 10 lbs of shit in a 5 lb bag, you just have to wrap the diapers tightly.

I know that religion is more destructive than constructive and will cause problems later on. (stay tuned..)

I know that while I wasn't allowed to believe in Santa Claus or experience anything within that childhood legend however, my daughter will, and I will get my chance through her.

I know that I don't know enough, but I'm learning.

Holiday Funnies

Links

Check out the new site for all of the baby E-Rock (aka Helen) pics. Leave comments, or just gawk at my kid, whatever works for you. www.dropshots.com/HKR

Also I have gig pics from the last 2 years here www.dropshots.com/erockontour

And here www.dropshots.com/erockontour2006

Randomness

It's amazing that I'm married. I am a total and complete nerd. Not the Dungeons and Dragons Playing Never Seen a Vagina For Real kind of nerd, but a nerd nonetheless.

I'll give some random examples of conversations I've gotten into with friends in the last few days.

Yesterday some friends and I got into a detailed discussion of the progressive changes in both technique and technology in both live and recording audio environments.

Previous conversations, discussions and/or debates...

The grand conspiracy of the government's allegiance with Wal-Mart and Clear Channel to make Americans spend all of their money in limited sectors making those corporations the controlling force in the American economy while the government enjoys the kickback.

The overrated, underperforming Ohio State Buckeyes Football Team.

The non-objective method of choosing teams for the BCS and National Championship of NCAA Football.

The Chinese manufacturing sector being fueled by ridiculously clever engineers that reverse engineer American made products and remanufacture them under a different name, using cheaper parts at extreme discounts that average Americans can't pass on causing the American economy to plummet at the same time that the Chinese economy is surging.

Possible methods of finding "The Brown Note" and its feasibility.

How the current economic structure of the United States of America is based more on scams than hard work and productivity.

How wining Fantasy Football is entirely mathematical and can be done without watching a game or being a fan.

The amazing redirect toward gay marriage and away from the failures of the administration that took advantage of Christian gullibility and won President Bush another term.

Which is the best Slayer Album?

The obvious benefits of Mac over PC and how the world, including our shop, will never catch on.

Some would think that while all of this bullshitting is going on I can't be getting any work done, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. It turns out, I'm a very lucky guy and get paid to be a complete nerd and work while these "Nerd Off" or "Geek Down" (as dubbed by E-Dubbz and Moe BEATs) conversations occur. I feel bad for the ones that have to work around asshole consumers, especially in the last 45 days of the year.

The Holiday Season is Upon Us

Ok, so it's been a while. If you've gotten the bulletin or email to the photo blog then you know what I've been up to. The last 33 days have raced by with little sleep and a lot of worry, curiosity and excitement. Contrary to what you may have been told, being a daddy isn't hard. The hard thing is trying to escape the influx of unwelcome advice and/or anecdotes from people who think that they're some sort of expert since they have previously bred a little human.

My little human is perfect.

My Mrs. is recovering quite well, too. Sometime in the next 18 years I might gather the courage to attempt to engage in sexual congress with her again.

--and now for something completely different--

Yesterday millions of economically afflicted Americans left their hovels in the middle of the night, burning fuel at over $3.00 per gallon, to wait in line to trample each other racing to buy the new fangled, ridiculously expensive, whirlygig that their bratty kid has demanded for Christmas. Three days ago these were the same people that were anxiously awaiting the 5:00 hour in their cubicles nervously chatting amongst themselves about the failing economy and the horribly high gas prices. They whine and moan about paying for health care services and how they "deserve" a free system with the same breath that complains about high taxes.

How many billions of dollars were spent yesterday on bullshit?

How about the day before Thanksgiving? Nationwide it is the largest party night for bars of the year, even topping New Years Eve. All of the young Americans that took planes, trains, buses or cars to destinations unknown to eat a gluttonous meal with family go out and spend a small fortune on booze. They may be late on their mortgage, car or whatever else payments, but there is always enough money to party.

Spending creates movement, and movement is always good. Besides, I'm in the market for a new house and I would love to take a newer, larger foreclosed house from someone living above their means that decided to forgo their mortgage payment in lieu of buying a Xbox 360, iPhone, Wii, PS3, Lexus, Diamonds, or whatever else was advertised to them as a way of buying love and approval.

Happy Holidays.

Halloween

When we were children this time was innocent and carefree. Dress up like a scary creature, grab a pillowcase and wander the neighborhood asking strangers for candy. What could possibly go wrong?

As adults the holiday is still carefree, however the innocence is gone. The costumes become more elaborate. For boys it's a creative free for all, for girls, the costume is identical for everyone. Just dress like a whore and carry an accessory depicting what you are trying to impersonate.

A whore with a stethoscope... ...a nurse.

A whore with a wand... ...a witch.

A whore with a whip and a leash... ...probably got that outfit from her closet and is happy for the one day she doesn't have to live in denial.

The adult candy has gone from bubble gum and chocolate to beer. The door to door has changed to bar to bar, and I'm not complaining. Who doesn't like looking at whores? Really?

Now I'm someone's daddy. Soon I will have to march a little princess or a little bunny, or a little witch around the neighborhood asking strangers for candy dreading the day that she leaves the princess costume behind. I know what comes next...

adendum

I would be remiss if I didn't mention some of the details about my wife's ordeal and give her the credit she deserves. Mrs. E-Rock, a.k.a. Little Red Haired Girl, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=60333118 was laboring for 36 hours. That is a day and a half for those running out of fingers to count on. 18 of those 36 hours were completely drug free. Not even a Tylenol was imbibed to circumvent aching and eventual unmeasurable pain that she was to endure. After 18 hours she finally succumbed to coercion and accepted an epidural to assist the Pitocin in the dilation process. (if you're unfamiliar with what I'm saying check Wikipedia for details and definitions) The epidural was a minimal dose that only took the slightest edge off. She still felt every bit of the pain of a natural childbirth.

My wife is an amazing woman that has succeeded in enduring the tortures of childbirth and she did it sans medication, au natural, in order to bring the healthiest baby possible into our family with no complications, no emergencies and no adverse conditions. I am in awe.

Introducing...

Helen. My Daughter.

Born 10/22/07 5:43 p.m. EST, 6 lbs 15 oz, 19.5" long. Mrs. E-Rock labored for 36 hours before Helen was born. I can't describe the feeling of watching my own child emerge into the world from the confines of a womb. It was awe inspiring to say the least. She is perfect in every way, and I am humbled to have seen my wife go through without drugs what I couldn't have done with an overdose of everything available. This was the most amazing thing I have ever seen or been a part of.

Here are the first pictures:

...and my personal favorite... (this was NOT posed, this is completely on her)

These pics were taken when she was 4 hours old. In the first 4 hours of her life she has already figured out the universal gesture. She is definitely my child.

That's all for now, more tomorrow.

News Flash, This Just In

Circa 5:10 am today, Mrs. E-Rock came to me and told me that her water just broke.

SHIT!

FUCK!

SHIT!

I was going to pack the bag, get the house ready, and otherwise prepare for everything in the next few days. Things didn't quite work out that way.

Details forthcoming.

Past His Prime

I'm writing this on my new laptop. This thing ROCKS!

Anyway... on with the show.

Gallagher is a comedian who has never been funny. What does everyone remember his as? The guy who smashes fruit with a big sledge hammer. It was cute once, in 1969. In 2006 it's just dumb.

However, it has made him a fuck load of money. He hasn't had to go to a job, report to a boss, punch a clock or do any of the things that a majority of the country does daily. He has been living the life his fans wish they could.

So why would he rant on and on in the Dayton City Paper about how stupid his fans and Americans in general are and complain that he's only remembered as the guy who smashes fruit? I agree with him, his fans and Americans in general are stupid. Since I have no fanbase and haven't made a secret about my general loathing of our government and the minions that follow it blindly, I have no remorse for saying as much.

BUT...

I know better than to shit where I eat.

I hate hip-hop. When I'm working a hip-hop show, does the promoter know this?

ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT.

Why?

I like to get paid.

Gallagher is an ungrateful, grumpy, old douchebag that is realizing his particular brand of hippy comedy stopped being funny about the time Ronald Reagan ran for president the first time. It is ironic, however that the guy who doesn't want to be remembered as the guy who smashes fruit has a website as www.gallaghersmash.com.

Now THAT'S funny.

The end is near

In my world away from home time has little meaning when I'm not working. I have lost all sense of day, night, weekday or weekend. Every day is divided into three categories: Show Day, Travel Day and Off Day. These days exist regardless of the date or day of the week. These days know no holidays and are set aside for no reason. There is no swapping of these days and there is no escaping these days.

These days will come to an end the day after tomorrow. Looking at the calendar on my laptop I have learned that today is, albeit very early, Wednesday; another "off day". Thursday marks the last "show day" which makes Friday the last "travel day". Soon thereafter I will be home, looking at the calendar as days in a week and weeks in a month. Numbers of dates and days of the week will creep back into my every day conversation and vernacular as I plan my schedule both socially and professionally around that strange world that exists outside the realm of the roadie where people go to work at a given time, on a given schedule, and repeat the process every day with small breaks called "weekends" in between.

The tasks for me will change as well. Gone will be the daily interactions with like-minded roadie types solving sound nerd problems and making loud noises to entertain thousands of people. Instead, I will be pushing my lawn mower back and forth, repairing broken house things, and re-domesticating myself in preparation for the birth of my daughter. Hopefully there will be a swift return to the safety and comfort of a Prevost.

Hey, do you want to see some interesting photos?

For you people into this kind of stuff, here is the set list from Atlanta.

Yup... I wear Mitchum.

I'm going to explore Boston tomorrow then do the last show. That leaves one last piece of bloggery from "A Wonder Summer's Night" to come. By the way, for some interesting reading Google "Stevie Wonder" and click on the news links that come up. Every review from the entire tour has been spectacular.

Bye!

Marking 2 years...

...of marital bliss by not being home on my anniversary. Aren't I just the dream hubby that girls pine for as children. I know you ladies all sit and hope to marry a less than attractive nerd that has an attitude problem and works in the music business traveling and working long and often odd hours. You all want to marry a man mind is more focused on his career than anything else which is evident by his absence on your wedding anniversary.

Yes, my little droogies, I'm a shitty husband.

But you all can help me. This is my wife, Mrs. E-Rock.

As Stevie Wonder sang, "Isn't she lovely"? She really is. She is a better human being than I am and I don't deserve all that she has given as my wife, friend and partner.

Here's how you can help me. Click Here to visit my wife on myspace. If you're already her friend, please leave a happy anniversary coment for her, if you're not her friend, befriend her and post the comment. Maybe if I can get you all behind me I can make up for being in Boston and not home today.

To my Mrs.... I love you more every year. Thank you for being the yin to my yang and being everything you are and more. (we must raise Helen to avoid boys like me)

Happy Anniversary.

L.A. - Land of the Surreal

I went to Universal Studios to see what I could see. While I was amazed at the ability of the Hollywood tricksters to manipulate our minds on film, I was dumbfounded by the completely false world that was created for our amusement. Wandering around I began to wonder if the cracks in the pavement were due to wear or placed there intentionally to add authenticity. Wandering around the city let me to the same questions regarding the random people I saw. There isn't a real boob in all of L.A. and the faces of both men and women aren't the faces they were born with.

Another interesting observation about about L.A. are the rules of the road. I come from the eastern side of the U.S. where pedestrians have the right of way provided it isn't inconvenient for the drivers behind them. In L.A... the cars will create a traffic jam to allow someone to cross the street while texting on their phone and sipping a mocha-latte-fluffernutter-cafe-ole. Drivers seem to be courteous, yet harried while they honk their horns in a very not New York fashion to alert the person chatting away in front of them that the light has been green for over a minute.

Sushi abounds here. I have eaten more delicious fishy treats in the last 3 days than I have in the last 3 months. Real crab meat in the sushi, enormous portions, reasonable prices... I'll miss the food when I leave.

I have also turned over a new leaf here. Eat Less... Move More... the simple plan to a longer and healthier life. I have walked on average 8 miles a day since I've been here. I take stairs in lieu of the elevator and I am trying to eat less meat. Not completely vegetarian (see the sushi comments) but less cow and pig will be healthier. Who'd have thought a smoke and red meat free E-Rock? The world might be coming to an end.

Oh yeah... we did a show here too...

Here's a rare shot. Looking down from upstage-right. I don't think I was supposed to climb up there, so let's keep it a secret between you (the internet) and me.





...and I suppose I'll finally include a pic of the star of the show. This pic was taken by a journalist attending the show who wrote a spectacular review. (so far every review has been spectacular... did you expect anything less from a show I'm on?)

The young lady next to Stevie is Aisha Morris, his daughter, who is one of the singers in our cavalcade of entertainment.

Tomorrow we kick into overdrive. We ake up at 6:00 am Pacific Time and fly to Chicago to meet up with our busses. (they left 3 days ago). The Chicago show is Monday and then the marathon begins... Detroit, Atlanta, New York, Baltimore, and Boston. A lot of travel and not a lot of time between gigs. I love my job.

More from Chicago... Stay Tuned.

San Francisco

I've never had the opportunity to explore San Francisco before so I took advantage of an off day, bought a day pass for the CalTrain headed into the city with Roadie Nate. The walk from the CalTrain station to the piers is roughly 5 miles through Chinatown, Little Italy and Porno Row. (Porno Row may notbe the official name for the border of Chinatown and Little Italy, but it's the appropriate name I have given it.)

This is a brief look at Chinatown. Every Chinatown looks and smells the same. The pictures say everything.

Little Italy has some interesting signs. Here's one.

Now we move onto Porno Row.

Roadie Nate and I were standing on a corner looking for a specific coffee shop that we had been requested to buy a pound of coffee in. The directions were vague and it took a few minutes to get our bearings. While looking around noticing "Larry Flynt's Hustler World", and other various "adult book stores" a Guido looking pseudo pimp sauntered up to me and handed me 2 VIP cards to the "afternoon show"

His sales pitch was well rehearsed, explaining that he is a recent transplant to the Bay Area from Las Vegas where he was the hospitality director for a famous strip hotel. He told us how he has now moved to Frisco to apply his talents creating opulent upscale entertainment atmospheres for the seedy titty and go-go bars in North Beach. He offered VIP passes, waived the cover charge and offered a free drink to get us into the club. When we refused he sweetened the pot with a "dildo show".

I have never seen a "dildo show" but I can use my powers of deductive reasoning to determine exactly what one is. I have better things to spend my per diem on, but to be honest, there was a fleeting second where I was intrigued by the show.

We politely thanked him for his enticing offer and left him to hustle someone else while we continued our quest to find freshly roasted coffee. Roadies passing on depraved live porn for coffee... the world is coming to an end.

Our trek finally landed on pier 39. Pier 39 used to be a floating marina for local sailing and fishing vessels. In recent years some ruffians have moved in and pushed out the locals. Check these guys out:





There are easily 200 sea lions that are living in and on the now permanently protected marina and floating dock system off of pier 39. The smell is unbelievable but watching them was a joy.

Of course you can't have a San Francisco report without a picture of Alcatraz.

After spending a day exploring San Francisco, the train brought us back. Getting off of the train we immediately noticed something very different in the sky. I had already been fascinated by the sky watching the "marine layer" of clouds blow in over the mountains and roll down the hills fogging up the valleys below with frightening speed, but this was different. At the time we were clueless to the events of the afternoon, but at 1:45 PDT a forest fire had erupted in a national park to the south of San Jose. As soon as we stepped off of the train we noticed the huge plume of smoke in the sky.








There is some sage like wisdom in this graffiti.

And that's what I did today. Time for an early bedtime, it's back to work and another show tomorrow. Saratoga, CA here we come.

Boring gig banter.

This tour has an interesting, annoying and persistent problem. The ever changing AC scheme. Some venues have clean ample AC designed for a show, some have nothing more than a generator, some have a something rigged that is "certified" safe but looks like the science project of a young Tesla. Faulty grounds, neutral legs created through transformers, ground loops... all of these lead to the daily bane of my existence: BUZZZZZZZ, and HUMMMMMM.

With all of the electronic instruments on stage, their varying ages, conditions, treatment and care it's a constant struggle to track and kill the buzzing channel of the day. Digging through a work box case I found the solution to the problem:

It doesn't work. Believe me, I tried it. Nope, the only way to go about killing the instrument hum and buzz is to track the signal back to the source and fix or replace the source of the problem. I'm so in tune to this that I can actually identify an instrument or amplifier by the buzz it gives.

----
I have touched on the MON side of the show, so let's have a brief look at the FOH side.



And a self portrait at FOH world.

These folks are generally clueless to the fact that we were on site 15 hours prior to their arrival putting everything together for their amusement. The smiles on their faces tell me we did a good job.

After this we have Labor Day Weekend off in Cupertino, CA. I'll probably find something to take a picture of and talk about in my adventures in California. Bye for now.

Hospitality and a peacock

Every morning roadies across the world say the same thing. "Where's catering?" Someone much higher on the food-chain than I am has taken the time to create a rider that satisfies the needs and desires of a hungry crew. The food is only a part of the "hospitality rider". The goal is to create a comfortable environment for us while we are away from home for extended periods of time. This venue in Woodinville, WA (a suburb of Seattle) was decorated like a museum.

*** by the way, the time stamp on the camera is set for Eastern Time. Subtract 3 hours and for an accurate time. ***
This guy certainly agrees:

But he wasn't allowed inside to see the Dale Chihuly paintings and sculptures that decorate the dining room.

He also wasn't allowed in this building... (and yes, it smelled as good as it looks... yum)

True Stories from the Land of Prevost

Let me tell a story.

Once upon a time there was a band. This band was one of the most talented bands the world had ever heard. They were the backbone and accompaniment of one of the most talented singer/songwriters the world had ever known. The band and singer/songwriter were supported by a top notch crew, possibly the best in the best in the world.

In those days entertainers and crew traveled by bus acoss the country. These buses weren’t the run of the mill school bus that takes kids to their classes every day. These were luxury motor-coaches with large HDTV screens, restroom facilities, beds, DVD players, wine chillers, a full compliment of booze, beer, soda, water and snacky things, and surround sound.

One fateful day in Northern California, one of the band members wandered onto the crew bus. Noticing the plush accommodations of the crew (who work 18 hours a day) and not happy with his own bus he demanded that the crew and band switch buses. The crew reluctantly agreed, and there was much grumbling.

Little did the crew know, but the Production Manager of the crew had placed an order for an even more lavish bus than the one he had just been so rudely evicted from. Moving day comes when the new bus arrives. The crew, being the smart, resourceful, thrifty and vengeful group that they are, begin the process of stripping the old bus of everything that it didn’t come with to stock the new one. They took every soda, bottle of water, beer, bottle of wine, snack, potato chip, DVD, towel, and ice cube from that bus and transferred it to the newer, better, bigger bus. Yes, even the ice and towels. All that was left was a rotten apple and a bag full of garbage.

That was also the day that the shore power lines failed and the old bus was without electricity in 90 degree heat for an entire day. The interior temperature of the bus was crawling north toward the 100 degree mark. Leaving nothing in the cooler to quench the thirst and leaving garbage to rot in the heat, the crew moved into their new accommodations with a sense of pride and accomplishment.

No words were ever spoken about the switch after that, until E-Rock (the smartest member of the crew) walked onto the bus in Oregon and finds a band member coming out of the bathroom.

E “What are you doing in there?”

Band guy “I wasn’t going to use a porta potty and my bus is way over there so I came up here to pee”

E “Did you flush?”

Band guy “Of course, hey you all have a nicer bus than we do. You have the big living room slide out thing and everything.”

E “You should have thought about that in California.”

Band guy “That’s fucked up.”

E “Not as fucked up as having to move right before a show after working all day to make the show possible.”

Band guy “That’s fucked up.”

E “Tell me about it.”

The need to lock the door was reiterated to the rest of the crew and the conversation covering what the crew wanted in a newer, ever nicer bus was started in the event that another move was necessary, but it wasn’t and won’t be.

Random Thought

I wear many hats. When I'm local (i.e. not touring) I provide sound reinforcement for concerts and events all over the midwest. This includes being the system engineer (guy who knows everything and makes it all work), FOH Engineer (mixing the artist for the audience), Monitor Engineer (mixing the band for the band), Crew Guy (case pusher, heavy thing lifter), Consultant (guy who tells you what you need versus what you want) and teacher.

When I'm touring, in theory, I wear the hat I was chosen to wear.

Update and Day Off

Hello.

I am in fact alive and well. Right now I'm in my cozy room in Santa Barbara, CA looking at the mountains and contemplating how to convince Mrs. E-Rock that we should move here. Any ideas?

Time is consumed by a constant and steady schedule of load ins and load outs, long sleepy drives followed by the same load ins and load outs. Somewhere in that schedule, we manage to entertain a small army of people one city at a time. Truthfully, this show is something magical. The audience has a genuine love for Stevie in a way that I have never experienced and Stevie genuinely shares that love for his audience. The energy in the venue for the couple of hours of show makes the hair stand up on the back of my arm. I didn't have any idea what I was getting into, and I thought this was just another show. I couldn't have been more wrong and I am privileged to be a part of this.

--- sound guy stuff ---



11 players, 82 inputs, 18 wedge mixes and 6 stereo IEM mixes takes 2 DigiCo D5 Live Consoles to manage. This means 2 splitter boxes, 4 MADI boxes to interface with the consoles, 3 splits off of the main snake, and dozens of sub snakes peppered all over the stage. Believe it or not, this is organized.

--- end sound guy stuff ---

An off day in Santa Barbara gave me an opportunity to explore another place in this country I call home. I had Lunch with some other Roadie friends.



I found the ocean.

... and I found some locals that drove an interesting vehicle.

It seems that the Santa Barbara bums don't have such a bad life.




While we're in Santa Barbara we might as well do a show tomorrow. 10,000 more people are waiting for us.

Rock... E-Rock

This is the coolest hotel I have ever stayed in as a Roadie (and one of the best I've stayed in, period). The U.S. Grant Hotel in San Diego is Las Vegas Opulent but Park Avenue tasteful. This is definitely the type of hotel 007 would stay in, complete with the front desk answering "Hello Mr. Rogers, how can I help you" and responding with "Yes, Mr. Rogers, right away Mr. Rogers."

Time to go do the first show.

Toodle-oo