A Little Bit of Nothing

I'm tired, I don't know where I am or what day it is, but I wouldn't want to do anything else. That's about it. I don't have much to say today.

Update

For my wife. Here's the finalized and remaining tour schedule. It looks like I'll be home sooner than expected. This is good and bad. Good, I have time to get some xmas shit done. Bad, I have to get chores done.

10/29-10/31
University of Louisville

11/1-11/04
University of Tennessee

11/5-11/07
University of Virginia

11/8-11/11
University of Maryland

11/12-11/14
Ohio State University

11/15-11/18
University of Notre Dame

11/19-11/21
Ohio University

11/22-11/25
University at Buffalo

11/26-11/28
Penn State

11/29-11/30
DePaul University

11/30-12/1
Syracuse University

12/2-12/3
University at Albany

12/4-12/5
University of Massachusetts
Amherst

12/6-12/7
Rutgers - New Brunswick

12/8
Mystery School

Celebrity Beef

As a general rule I don't repost surveys. I have once or twice, but usually I just read them, chuckle and move on.

Reading a recent survey sent to me I came across a question that stopped me.

"What celebrity would you like to beat up?"

I couldn't think of just one, so I decided to come up with a list.

1. Paris Hilton - Act like a hoe, get smacked like a hoe.
2. Sean Hannity - Shut the fuck up you mindless sheep.
3. Hillary Clinton - Power hungry socialists always get what's coming to them.
4. Terrel Owens - Quit your bitching and play football, you millionaire crybaby.
5. Chris Berman - If I break his jaw, he'll shut up for the rest of the season.

Feel free to comment, list your own, or add to it. This should be a fun game.

Going, Going, Gone!

Everything is confirmed, we're packing gear, the tour begins next week. I leave on, Tuesday the 24th for Bloomington, IN. From there up to Madison, WI and on, and on, and on...

If anyone wants to grab an adult beverage, get in touch with me, we'll do it Sunday while watching football somewhere with bad food and good liquor.

Work Related Rant

People astound me. A patient would never tell a surgeon how to operate. An end user wouldn't tell a programmer how to write code. Why is it that every douchebag with an M-Box thinks they're a sound engineer?

I run across this in my job all the time. Everyone thinks they know more than me, but interestingly enough, they don't work with or for me. All of their audio engineering knowledge is being put to good use making a latte for me at Starbucks and flipping my double with Cheeze at Wendy's.

Does anyone else run into this?

Politics As They Are

November is right around the corner. One cannot turn on the radio or t.v. without hearing the most recent ad for whatever candidate.

The campaign is the same all over the country.

REPUBLICAN: I'm ___(insert name here)___ and I approve this message. I'm a Christian conservative. I don't like minorities, blue collar workers, or poor people.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus... ...America, America, America... ...Values, Values, Values.

Vote for me, nothing I'll do will actually benefit you, but at least I'm not a bleeding heart, left-wing pussy.

DEMOCRAT: I'm ___(insert name here)___ and I approve this message. The Republicans are ruining this country. Rich people are evil, they are the reason your life sucks.

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs... ...Economy, Economy, Economy... ...Health Care, Health Care, Health Care.

Vote for me, nothing I'll do will actually benefit you, but you'll think so while I raise your taxes and keep you suckling on the government teat.

Visit the Libertarian Party website

If you're tired of the same old shit, speak up. Say something.

TOUR!

The check came yesterday. I'm going on tour. The show is the "Fall College Caravan" featuring artists from Kanye West's label and Kenye West. Electronica, Metal, and Hip-Hop artists on multiple stages.

Here's the date info:

10/24/06 - Blomington, IN
10/26/06 - Green Bay, WI
10/27/06 - Green Bay, WI
10/30/06 - Louisville, KY
10/31/06 - Louisville, KY
11/02/06 - Knoxville, TN
11/03/06 - Knoxville, TN
11/06/06 - Charlottesville, VA
11/07/06 - Charlottesville, VA
11/09/06 - College Park, MD
11/10/06 - College Park, MD
11/13/06 - Columbus, OH
11/14/06 - Columbus, OH
11/16/06 - South Bend, IN
11/17/06 - South Bend, IN
11/20/06 - Akron, OH
11/21/06 - Akron, OH
11/23/06 - Buffalo, NY
11/24/06 - Buffalo, NY
11/27/06 - State College, PA
11/28/06 - State College, PA
11/29/06 - Philadelphia, PA
12/01/06 - Syracuse, NY
12/02/06 - Waterbury, CT
12/04/06 - Camden, NJ
12/05/06 - Syracuse, NY

I Love The Smell of Napalm in the Morning

North Korea has successfully tested a nuclear weapon.

What does this mean?

Soon we will have to again show the world that our dick is bigger than everyone else's. Once again we are going to have to flex some muscle to quiet down a little douchebag dictator that thinks his tiny little nuke and limited arsenal will somehow make us quiver.

The sad thing is, he's probably right.

North Korea is no match for us. They're testing? Our stuff works. They're small, we're huge. It's simple math. However, MSNBC is already writing editorials on how it's the United State's fault that North Korea is stepping up the nuclear game. It's only a matter of time before the rest of the networks jump on that bandwagon. Then the Clintons will start to mouth off, and Nancy Pelosi and her cronies are going to jump on the appeasement soapbox just in time for a major pole shift in November's election.

Don't believe the hype. This is nothing we haven't faced before. It isn't the end of the world, but it could be if the appeasement crowd gets their way.

Again With The Smoking

The whole state of Ohio, and probably the rest of the country for that matter is coming unglued. I go out to my mailbox today and what do I find? A few bills, a credit card application, and a flyer that has...

"IMPORTANT VOTER INFORMATION"

and an

"ABSENTEE BALLOT APPLICATION INSIDE!"

Before I even open this thing up I notice that it is paid for by:

Smoke Less Ohio Voter Education Fund
Matt Yuskewich, Treasurer
88 E. Broad St. Ste 1320
Columbus, OH 43215

Why put his info in this blog? So anyone who reads this knows who to go throw rocks at when his shitty, socialist bill actually passes.

My Stats. Smoker, Libertarian. A dangerous combination for these anti-smoking fuckwads.

This bill is designed for Ohioans to think "That ain't so bad" or "hey, it's not a total ban" and it will pass. What they want to do is ban smoking everywhere except bars and niteclubs. They think that it's a common sense solution to the smoking problem.

1. There is no problem. If you don't want to smoke, then don't. If you don't want to go into a business where smoking is permitted... don't. The marketplace will take care of itself and if non-smoking is popular enough, there won't be any more smoking.

2. Government intervention in private business is not acceptable EVER. At no time should we invite the government in to control more. Day by day, vote by vote, our freedoms are being stripped from us. Although a public smoking ban isn't horrible in and of itself, it's a contributing factor in the much larger problem of our lazy way of life. Lazy Americans will ruin America be asking the government to do more and more until they have total control.

The scariest part about this is they are using the latest scare tactic. Including an absentee application in the propaganda as if to say, "If you mail in your vote it's sure to be counted and by the way, vote with us on the smoking thing"

Americans are just stupid enough to do it. Common people, freedom isn't easy. It's work. If you understand this, there is hope. If not, it's too late.

Anybody Got a Lite

My friend Ralph had a "mild heart attack" today. He's only 38. That's not heart attack age. Now I'm thinking about my own mortality at 29 and the potential of dying way too young. It has me frightened.

So what do I do?

After I hear about his cardiac episode I go out to dinner. A ribeye, baked potato with all the goop on it, and a salad. I wash it all down with caffeinated iced tea. A nice after dinner smoke and after I finish this I'm going outside for another cigarette.

It's not the food that will kill me. It's the cigarettes. I smoke too fucking many cigarettes. I know this. I know they're bad for me. They are also a necessity. Cigarettes relieve stress and anxiety.

So there is the conundrum. Health or Happiness?

For now I choose happiness, but I think I'm cutting back on my intake. I'll wean myself from the teat of the R.J. Reynold's corporation slowly, but since I'm a frugal guy who hates to see things wasted, I'll wait until this pack is gone. Waste not, want not...

Eating Out With Class

My friend Damon posted a bulletin that touched on this subject, but bulletins lack originality. Here's some tips and tricks to avoid getting a meal at your favorite establishment without having your food cross the path of a server's asshole or nutsack before arriving at your table.

1. Servers are not servants. Be nice to the folks handling your food. "Please" and "Thank-You" are a good way of making sure there is no snot in your gravy. No one wants to hear "Gimme" or "I want" that. It's just rude.

2. The odds of someone else's hair getting in your food are slim to none. The hair in your salad is yours. Deal with it.

3. If your food is over or under cooked, it isn't the server's fault. It's the cook's. Taking it out on the server will do nothing but cause the server to drag their ass in serving you and drag your extra rolls across their ass in retaliation.

4. Don't haggle over the cost over a meal. If you didn't want to pay for eating out you should have stayed home.

5. Your kids aren't cute. They aren't adorable. They are making a mess that someone else had to clean up. Keep them under control.

These are not necessarily rules, more like guidelines. If you follow them your dining will be poop and snot free. Bon Appetite.