Pimp Credentials

I know I'm some kinda wonderful, but where did all these friend requests from porn chicks come from? 99 percent of my friends list are people I actually know or have worked with, and to date I have not worked in porn.

I get about 10 requests a day and although I appreciate the confidence booster, I'm married. My Mrs. would not appreciate the hot little porn starlets and so I deny them. It's annoying. On one hand I understand the business aspect of fishing for leads, but on the other I wonder what makes me look like a mark for the internet porn market.

I'm not against porn, in fact I'm in favor of it. I just don't partake because my Mrs. has requested that I abstain. I guess it's like any addiction, it's hard to stay clean when everyone around you is doing it. There should be meetings.....

[me] Hi. I'm E-Rock and I'm a porn-o-holic. It's been 4 years since my last indulgence.

[group] Hi. E-Rock

[me] I don't have any stories to tell, I just wanted it to be known that I don't don't watch porn, it's just an internet scam.

[group] Denial E-Rock, own up to it.

[me] No, really - no porn for me.

See... this is the problem, the appearance of impropriety is often enough to convict, so please... STOP WITH THE REQUESTS FROM PORN CHICKS.