Homeland Security

Let me begin with the Department of Homeland Security.

This fucking organization has absolutely NO ability to keep you and I safe from the bad guys. The only things they succeed in is taking our rights from us, making our travel experience generally miserable, and giving stupid people jobs.

We leave to go on our honeymoon. From DAY to MCO (that's Dayton to Orlando in airport lingo) with the flight leaving at 7:05 am. No problem, we got there early enough to make it through security and still have a Cinnabon before boarding the plane.

The first thing I notice is that there are signs telling me I can't lock my luggage with anything except a TSA approved lock (of which they have a master key). Why else would I lock my luggage in an airport? Who other than me will handle my baggage? GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES. But no worry, I always pack light and nothing valueable. I they really want to sniff my boxers, more power to them.

Then I have to show ticket and ID to get up to the metal detector. Before that, however, I have to relinquish my lighter because it can't be taken on plane, but the lady handed me a book of matches? WHAT?!?!?! I can't have a regulated butane lighter, but I can have a flaming pack of sulfur? OK. Whatever.

Next the shoes come off, and the pockets are emptied. I understand the pockets, but the shoes? Common.... The shoe bomber was caught. It won't happen again. We're chasing our tails and wasting time looking at shoes. What happens next time when the bomber has the device in his ass. Will everyone have to drop trou and spread cheek for the inspector right there in the airport? What about a bra bomb?

So we finally get through security and have some Cinnabon when I notice a sign with the Department of Homeland Security logo on it that said "Your Rights" with some kind of list under them. I never bothered to read it. I lust thought about taking a large chisel tip marker and drawing a big circle with a slash through it because they obviously have decided that the Constitution and Bill of Rights are null and void regarding air travel. It's really fucking insane. Welcome to the United States, leave your freedom at the door.